A Love Letter to Mom

It's been nine years. Nine long years since you went to be with Jesus. And the truth is I still miss you from the core of my very being. I miss your smiles and your jokes and your letters. AND, the way you always signed everything to me as "Love, Momma". You were my person and especially today, on the anniversary of your home going, I miss you.

There's so many precious moments I wish you had been present to experience. The kids going to their first dances. Lauren and I going to the Mother Daughter Teas. Austin shooting his first deer and us eating the meat. The Mother Son Dances for Austin and myself. Austin playing tennis. Lauren on the swim team. Them excelling in school. Performing in plays at church. Lauren leading worship. Austin working in the nursery and teaching in Children's ministry. Lauren's baptism.

ALL THE SCHOOL AND COMMUNITY PLAYS!

AND, their graduations from high school. Mom you would be so proud of your grand babies. They have grown up to be amazing people and I wish so desperately you were here to be a part of it.

And mom, I got my Master's degree and I am working on my doctorate now. Just like I always said I would. I am going all the way. And my relationship with Jesus is stronger than ever. But I know if you were here you would ask how I am doing emotionally. And I'm okay. I've had a lot of sad moments. I've cried a lot. My heart has been heavy. And, at times, it's lonely without you... my person. But I've grown so much. I've matured so much. And I am making it. I know that life is better for me and you as a result of Jesus calling you home. And as much as I hate to admit it... as much as it almost broke me to lose you... He was right. It was time.

Mom... I've thought about what I would say to you if I could sit with you for just five minutes more. And it's this. THANK YOU. You were by no means perfect, but you were perfect for me. So thank you. For loving me well. For challenging me often. For supporting me always. For speaking truth to me when I needed to hear it. For teaching me how to be a lady (and how to be a freak... smh). And for expecting me to listen. But most importantly mom... thank you for just being you. Unapologetically you.

It was all I ever needed and sometimes more than I wanted (let's be honest, you could be scary at times... AND UTTERLY EMBARRASSING!!!). But looking back I would not trade a single memory. Not even you peeing in the kitty litter when you were sick. Even that brings a smile to my face now:)

You were the greatest. So much has changed since your home going but one thing will always remain the same... I love you mom, I think of you often and I miss you!

Your favorite daughter,

p.s. And even as I am writing this, Austin just sent me a message saying he passed his first real estate exam. Remember when I was doing real estate and we talked about us working together one day?

p.s.s oh and remember how we use to always fill our letters with tons of p.s.es because we would always think of something else to say, lol.